Stimulating sports: What's in a name

Researching the previous post on the life of Ace Ntsoelengoe led me to stumble across some information about the weird and wonderful nicknames of South African footballers. Argentina has some strong ones (my favorites are Claudio "El Piojo (The Louse)" Lopez, Diego "El Cholo" Simeone, Marcelo "El Muneco (The Doll)" Gallardo and my all-timer, Juan Sebastian "La Brujita (The Little Witch) Veron.

Formidable, for sure. But when a cool nickname like "Ace " doesn't even crack the top 10, you know you have something special. So here are some South African footballers and their nicknames. I've tried to note the origin of the nickname where I could, but some really defy words. Honestly, these guys have better nicknames than those And1 basketball players that were so popular a few years back. Enjoy!

Brian "Spiderman" Baloyi
Patson "Sparks" Banda
Alex "Barnes" Bapela
Nelson "Teenage" Dladla
Phil "Lekgowa" Evans
Thomas "Who's Fooling Who" Hlongwane
Moeneeb "Slim Kat" Josephs
Jimmy "Brixton Tower" Joubert
Samuel "Ewie" Khambule
Johannes "Yster" Khomane
Doctor "16 Valve" Kumalo (also the most brilliant first name of all time)
defender Gavin "Stability Unit" Lane (you'd have to be pretty happy to have a defender named Stability Unit)
Steve "Chippa" Lekoelela
Harold "Jazzy Queen" Legodi
1970s winger Leonard "Wagga Wagga" Liokebe, named after a famous racehorse
Mbulelo "OJ" Mabizela (no connection to Simpson I hope)
Edward "Madiba" Malinga
Mike "Sporo" Mangena
Ephraim "Shakes" Mashaba
Katlego "Mahoota" Mashego
Joel "Fire" Masilela
Philemon "Chippa" Masinga
Siphiwe "Skizo" Mhkoza
Kagiso "Zero" Mohale
Aaron "Mbazo" Mokoena
Elias "Shuffle" Mokopane
John Moshoeu (left), universally known as "Shoes"
Pitso "Jingles" Mosimane
Kaizer "Chincha Guluva" Motaung
Andries "Chaka Chaka" Mpondo
Daniel "Mambush" Mudau
Kabamba "Black Sunday" Musasa (so named after his goals eliminated a rival team from a tournament on a Sunday)
Pollen "Trompies" Ndlanya
Sandile "AK 47" Ndlovu (this wouldn't play in the PC United States)
Emanuel "Scara" Ngobese
Zebulon "Sputla" Nhlapo
Joseph "Banks" Setlhodi
Phil "Mr. Jones" Setshedi (all class this one)
Jabu "Shuffle" Pule
Andrew "Jaws of Life" Rabutla
former Leeds defender Lucas "Rhoo" Radebe (so named for the sound that carried through the stadium when he was on the ball; I like his alternate nickname, "Buick," a lot better)
Jerry "Legs of Thunder" Sikhosana
Lawrence "Sister Monica" Siyangaphi (this is just downright fabulous; I'm guessing it has something to do with a kindly nun)
Ephraim "Jomo" or "The Black Prince" or "Trouble Maker" Sono (you know you're bad when you have three nicknames)
Moses "Mara" Spandeel
Neil "Mokoko" Tovay
Arthur "10111" Zwane (I'd love to know what this is all about)
Sibusiso "Rhee" Zuma (as in "Rhoo?")